


live in the afterglow

by arcarrl



Category: Booksmart (2019)
Genre: F/F, Slow Burn, amy was too gay to function, rated M for future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 05:35:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20092114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcarrl/pseuds/arcarrl
Summary: Amy and Hope end up in the same university. Amy comes back from Botswana with more confidence, drive, and perspective. Hope ends her gap year with a modelling career and international magazine spreads.Amy really regrets never ringing or sending her a text.





	live in the afterglow

In hindsight, no one really knew where Amy was going to college except for Molly. She mentioned it once during their fight at Nick's aunt before graduation, but it was never a big deal. Her big news was going to Africa, and that's what everyone knew.

"Okay, you are not going to believe this," Molly's voice rang a little too loud from Amy's weird international cellphone. She and Amy kept in touch during the summer, but phone calls were a luxury reserved for special occasions. Amy wasn't sure what warranted a call at six in the morning on a Thursday.

"Good morning to you, too," Amy replied half-awake.

"I just wanted to check something: do you remember this girl whose butthole you made yourself familiar with the night before graduation? You know, name's a virtue, basic hot girl, total bitch?"

"Already told you not to call her that, but yeah." Amy sat up on her bed, trying to keep herself awake for this conversation. "What's your point, Mols?"

"Guess what I found out from Annabelle today."

Needless to say, Amy was not in a guessing mood.

"Hope's going to Columbia."

_"What?"_

"Yeah, and apparently her whole Christopher McCandless gig was not just for a summer, but the whole year. That means you'll both be starting university at the same time, and I still can't believe I literally just found these out from Anabelle five minutes ago."

Looking for words as a response to that information was a lost cause on Amy. It has been exactly 15 weeks and 4 days since Hope went to her house and gave Amy her number, 15 weeks and 4 days of Amy not doing anything since.

"Hello?? Amy, are you still there?"

"Yeah, it's just... _whoah_."

"Does she know you're going there too?"

"I—," Amy really didn't know. Hallway remarks, classroom insults, and bathroom fiasco aside, she and Hope never properly conversed. Except maybe that time when Hope came over, but Amy couldn't even properly form a sentence without tripping over her own words. "I don't think I've mentioned it."

"Y'know what else? Anabelle told me she models now. Or is trying out modelling, not sure, but she got a job in London or something."

Amy would be surprised if she hadn't thought about it before. Absence, after all, makes the mind replay and obsess over the tiniest details. (Point: you can't just look _that good_ sporting vintage clothes in high school and not scream 'model material') Hope has always been, objectively based on traditional standards, the most beautiful girl in their school. Even her years of aloofness could not refute that fact.

"Should I not have told you?" Molly softly piped in after Amy's uncharacteristic silence. "Sorry, Amy. Anabelle did tell me I should lessen the gossiping which I didn't even realize was considered gossiping because technically whenever I—"

"It's fine! It's fine, Mols, it's been, what, three months? I'm fine, honest—"

"Look, Amy, I know you," Amy groaned in response to the interruption, fully aware that Molly's tone meant she was not about to hold back. "You are one badass bitch, and Hope would be, in your own words, _so fucking lucky_ to be a footnote in your story. Sure, you got cold feet for a few months, but it's not too late. Go open that notes app where you keep your hundred messages drafted, and just talk to her already. I'm sure your wrong door buddy would still open a window for you or something."

The truth of the matter was that Amy really wanted to call or send Hope a text. It was true; she did have several apology messages drafted—each one proofread about twenty times. The nagging dilemma for her was what would come after all that. She didn't even know Hope, and she doubted Hope knew her. It was hard enough to connect with Molly and her parents considering the time difference and their busy schedules, adding Hope to the mix would just not be a logical choice. Worst case scenario, she would make an even bigger fool of herself and be left a wreck looking back at the whole affair. Best case, she and Hope would develop _something, _only to have it possibly inevitably ruined by the troubles of a long distance relationship in the long run.

Molly's _"Don't knock it 'til you try it"_ advice rung in her ear again and again. She knew she was overthinking it. In the past month, she has gotten arrested, drove someone else's car through a fence, and kissed a pretty girl. Results have consistently showed that she should just take a leap and go for it. Unfortunately, that conclusion came about a month after graduation, and Amy figured it was too late; her window of opportunity had closed. Though it never really sat well with her, she somehow made peace with the fact that that was all Hope would be to her — her first kiss, her first number to get, and her first_ almost_ everything.

Of course, that was until she found out they'd be going to the same university come fall.

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to take the idea of amy being too gay to function a notch higher, and i desperately needed this out of my system.
> 
> the work's title is from saint motel's happy accidents (which is a total hope and amy song; go give it a listen) and the chapter title's from the song they made out to in the bathroom: cold war by cautious clay
> 
> thanks for reading! this was more of a prologue, so hope'll definitely be in the next chapter. feel free to let me know what u think, and have a good day! x


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